Thursday, May 28, 2009

Warning...PG-13 for violence and gross images

Hi everybody, this is Connely. I was the one who killed de chicken. I am here to give you a chicken hunting lesson.

Number Uno: Go and buy a slingshot from a sporting goods store. Preferebly a wristrocket.

Then get some marbles, or led hunting pellets.

Number Dos: Find an area where the chickens roam. Do not go on somebodies property unless if they are not home or not looking.

Number Tres: Look for a chicken. Then slowly sneak up on it and try not to let it see you. If you have been practicing, you should know how to aim pretty well.

Number Quatro: As soon as you are about ten feet away, shoot it with a marble. Go for the head if you can but otherwise aim for one of the legs or the wings.

Number Cinco: Chase it down and shoot it once or twice more marbles while running. Try to corner it against a wall or something that it cannot get through.

Number Sies: Grab hold of it firmly by the body and do not let go. Then move to a spot where people dont have to watch.

Number Ocho: Now is the good part! Find a sharp knife and cut it's head off. Hold it upside down and let all of its blood drip out. Then pull up the wing and make a slit in the skin. Keep on cutting until all the skin is off. Then cut off the part next to the throat with all the half-digested food. Using your fingers pull out its guts and place then next to the skin. Break it's feet off, unless you wish to eat them. Bury the skin and guts. Wash or rinse all the feathers off of the meat and bones.

Number Nueve: Cook the meat in water and then pull it off the bones. Throw away the bones. You may cook this in soup.

Number Dies: If you know anybody in the area that gardens, tell them. They will probably be happy because the chickens destroy their gardens. I know this from expirience.

There is your whole lesson for free. It is a fun sport. Both me and my brother have wristrockets. So does my friend on the island. He told me he is getting a pellet gun. With a scope. Man it's going to get wild here. Enjoy your shriveling heat!



  1. Hey! Where are those promised gross images?

    Congratulations Connely! Can't wait to show you how to feed a bunch of sled dogs. :-)

  2. I think this is one of the best posts I have read - a diamond in the rough of the blogging world.

    -Uncle B. B.

  3. I will let gerrit read!!! This is so very interesting..Are you going for bigger game next time?